It all comes down to how much the LBS can take and still stand...
NTX had written the usual mantra of believing none of what the say and only 50% of what they do and in the beginning, that is absolutely what one needs to do... it gives and opportunity to stabilize ourselves and examine what really might be going on...
I think (currently) in your case, my case, jb's and a couple more that have been here for a while (sorry ladies if I've missed any of you)... we could stand till the end of days and nothing will likely change...
The WAS has become comfortable in their lies... they continue to lie and even when their lies are inconsistent, the inconsistencies are across groups, but consistent within groups of people... IOW, the inconsistencies aren't important because they are not likely to be checked and compared...
What it boils down to is, the lies continue, the WAS anger (overt and/or covert) continues, that there becomes and increasing and obvious appearance that the WAS is beginning to settle into this new "life" they have created for themselves... as they continue to ignore the elephant and continue to keep the LBS at bay but connected / controlled, while they "think about things"...
This is, I believe, the real point where there becomes no "right" or "wrong" thing the LBS can say or do... of course, we still might keep the road home paved and smoothed... not really so much an open door for the WAS, as much as to keep our integrity and ethics intact... we can walk through life with our head high and our dignity on our shoulders...
And as others can attest, even people who D sometimes get back together and even re-marry... not saying that's a goal the LBS needs to have tucked into their bucket list... it's just that...
For a stander, there are reasons why we are standing... and while we can move on with our lives with or without the WAS at our side... there are certain things that a stander CAN NOT, because at our core of standing, we would be hypocritical of our morals or ethics to move forward with deeper things like new Rs...
At this point TM, you would not be moving forward with D as a tactic... if it's time, it's time... and you can move the D along at YOUR pace... I think any stander who chooses to D needs to understand that...
