I so see myself in your description of your wife's behavior. When my h would present me with a problem (plate on the floor, kid needs a tutor, car needs maintenance...) i can clearly imagine my response looking like a blank stare. What it really was was me thinking a combination of 1) really? I'm in the middle of a stir fry and i need to go pick it up?, 2) why dont you tell me this when i can do something about it; you know ill forget and youll get mad that i procrastinated, and 3) why cant you take charge of this instead of expecting me to? And a dash of 4) that was a vague statement i didnt hear as a request that you thought was a request. Without getting inside your wifes head, i can relate enough to wonder if you should be more clear like "can you set up an appt for d this week? If not ill go ahead and arrange one next week." dont get pulled into an argument about a year ago, just say "i wish i had then, but lets do something now". And timing makes a big difference - if you two cant drop everything now or soon to take care of what needs doing then put it on her or ur calendar or write it in an eml so it doesnt seem to her like shooting the breeze but rather a plan of action. My h got so frustrated by my ignoring him, and i didnt know he was even really asking for something. Hope this helps a little and gives you some ideas to improve your communication with w.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.