Mr. Bond, YAH, Yes I do recognize that, but any sort of counseling is out of the question. It certainly hampers things, but it's not a lost cause. I truly believe that the actions of one will affect how the other reacts. I have changed my attitude on a lot of things and it has lead to clear and visible changes in both of us. It would be easy to say you need "anger management counseling". To which the reponse would be a resounding no. Instead I did everything I could to change our communication dynamic, and this worked wonders.
I think the same could be applied here, I want her to realize that my need to ml to her is not about scratching an itch, but about a desire to feel close and intimate. I figure I also need to make her feel desirable, not like I want her because she's the only woman available to me at the moment.
I can't get her to confront herself, and neither can a therapist. I can only set the conditions to allow reflection.
Now because I like tasks lists (you might have noticed from my other posts). Here is what I intend to pursue.
1. Let her know how beautiful I find her without sounding fake.
2. Create sexual tension (the good kind) without coming off as a perv.
3. Communicate my desire for her without coming off as just another horny guy.
4. Continue working out, I can always look more cut :p
5. Show her appreciation for other things besides looks, without sounding fake or like I'm doing it for sex. (I really appreciate all the little things she does, really.)
I'm sure I'll come up with more. I dropped a similar list to ssmguy. I hope this new approach of interacting with her helps.
