I think you hit the nail on the head about MLCers choosing confidants with more lax morals than they themselves generally display who will relate to them without judgement. I guess it goes hand in hand with seeking OW who are needier and more dysfunctional than they are, at that point. It really does show how much depression changes a person's normal values.
Also, if you've ever been depressed/in victim mode, you may understand how the problems which confront the depressed person seem like the most interesting thing about him/her, so the only way to connect with others is to talk about them. Sorry, I'm not explaining that well, but I do hazily remember a period like that in my life. It's sort of like you've partially forgotten who you are, and know yourself only by telling people about the pain you're going through.
You know, I thought my H wouldn't let go of OW unless she moved away, but once he made the final decision to end things with her, he made sure he wouldn't run into her through work, and in his mind (gradually) she became an embarrassing mistake while I became the long-time interest again. So his not being a restless soul may work for you!
I'm not on the alt, but happy to pass on anything I've learned thanks to this place!
