On Saturday, I accidentally left my phone at work after we locked up. I put out a public announcement on Facebook that told everyone that this had happened and that I would not be getting back to anyone until Monday. When Monday came around, I found that I had a missed call as well as two texts from my W. All three took place on Saturday.
First, she tried to call. Then she texted, "Okay, now I get the feeling that you're avoiding me. Not really sure why but whatever. Can you please call me when you get a chance?" The second text read, "Just read your status on FB. Sorry I said that you were avoiding me..."
Two things about this. One, even if I did have my phone with me, I probably wouldn't have picked up because I HAVE been avoiding her. Reading her message made me think that ALWAYS not answering the phone when she calls is probably not the best idea. Thinking about it, it just seems vindictive, as well as cowardly. I want to show her that she doesn't have me on a string, but I don't want to completely shut her out. If I don't like how the conversation goes, I can leave it. And I'll be clear that I don't want to talk about OM.
Two, I'm really surprised at how deluded she can be. Does she REALLY have no idea why I might be avoiding her? Can she think of nothing? Through these last three months, it has amazed me how easily it escapes her that what she's doing is hurting me. She has not once apologized or expressed any kind of tact since the very beginning. Either she truly can't see the truth, or she just chooses not to.
Anyway, I texted her back today and found that she had wanted to talk about coming to visit in a couple of weeks. I knew about this already: she was coming down to visit her parents, and she wanted to see our pet rabbit who is in my custody. I told her that it would be okay and for her to just give me a call when she was in town. She said (interesting wording) "Okay, I will give you a call then." (Rather than just "okay." She had to explain WHEN she would call me. I don't know...just sounds funny to me.)
When I step back, I am still intrigued by the notion that she is still trying to call me. She could have told me everything on Saturday with a simple text just like she did today, with no need for me to reply. "I am coming down in a couple of weeks, I want to see the rabbit, here's the info, blah blah blah." If she really wants nothing to do with me, why is she so dead-set on talking to me over the phone? And why does she sound so upset that I'm "avoiding her" when she's the one who left?
My guess is that she's frustrated because she wants to get status checks on me. She wants to gauge how and what I'm doing, and it's hard to do that without hearing my voice or going into an expanded conversation about my recent activity. As for her dropping by in a couple of weeks, I'm a little nervous. I haven't seen her since she left over three months ago. I'm going to work really hard at playing it cool and being myself. Whether we do anything else or visit longer than it takes her to see the rabbit is completely up to her, not me. Otherwise, I'll just do my own thing that weekend.
I also have to mention that the day after my W goes back will be the six-month anniversary of the day that we first met. I do not plan on contacting her on this day. Nor do I plan on contacting her in the weeks leading up to her arrival. We'll see how it all plays out.
