W is moving out.....life goes on...

[In_Shock]

Journaling:

I guess I'll make up for being off the board a few days. I've been doing a lot of thinking --- as we LBS tend to do. I've replayed some things in my mind about the past few months since the bomb.

Sometime in the past few weeks I had asked if she loved me. She said-- two things. One: Yes, I love you as a person and as the mother of S. Two: Yes, I love you but not in the way I need to to sustain a relationship. It's that SECOND one that's got me. WTF? I suppose that's W's way of saying ILYBNILWY? Still sukks...

I've also thought ALOT about W's relationship with her family and the part they've played in all this mess. You see, when we met, W was 22 and I was 32. We immediately fell madly in love and did a commitment ceremony within 6 months. There were red flags about that family that I missed. BIG red flags that I overlooked because I was in the midst of the love drug thingy....

For example -- W told me early on that her parents were her best friends. Sounds nice in theory, but not particularly healthy in some ways that I don't want to go into. Let's just say W has had to deal with tmi from both parents in ways a child should never have to over the years. Parents should be parents, not friends ultimately.

Well, then the day after our commitment ceremony (wedding) we went to HER PARENT's HOUSE to open our wedding gifts. W has always spend an extraordinary amount of time with them -- and I've always felt excluded. It's like an exclusive club that I cannot get access to. When we were dating she had to be home every night at 6 pm for family dinner. Again, nice sentiment, but she was 22 --- and we were dating. I missed all those signs. I was so taken with her -- her kindness, generosity, the fact that she was/is such a caring loving person..... That family is totally enmeshed and so codependent..... WOW.

SO last night I ask W if she wants to go out to dinner with me. We've always done this at least once a week for years -- she has been kind of down since her return home, so I told her we could go out and just talk about the color of paint on the wall...lol... ie; nothing. Just to relax. When she picked me up, it was apparent she had been crying. Turns out her mom had attacked her with some heavy things... MIL told W that W is an unhappy person and that nothing will make her happy.... MIL told W that W has been so short and snippy lately that if ...and I quote --- "if this is what it looks like for you to be with someone other than InShock, perhaps you need to stay with InShock" HMMMM>>>>> Curiousier and curiousier.