Antonia, can I point out that you have some unresolved issues with xh? You made some assumptions in the past about how he felt about something and may now need to adjust those assumptions back to reality.
He has the same issue.
I think the real issue her is how you intend to set and enforce your boundaries? He obviously wants to find ways to communicate with you beyond business. Ok. He "wants" to do something. Let him "want" to do something then. That's not your business. But it is a great opportunity to test and adjust your boundaries.
I personally see no reason to idly chat with him while he lives with OW. I know for me personally, that would be a deal breaker.
Re-evaluate what you know and what you want to know when you decide if something is crazy or not. I think it will help if you see that while it bothers you that's because it is your reaction to somebody who hurt you deeply. It's your reaction to a person that hurt you deeply and it doesn't always reflect reality. Know how I know? I do it as well. I actually have started re-reading things 1 hour after I read it the first time just to see if I see the same things. I find that I don't. My mind adds things that may not be there.
Guess I'm just as batchit nuts if I let that continue...
I was hurt deeply and I find that my mind is trying to protect me. I have to actively work to defeat those protection mechanisms. It works, but it's a lot more effort than I want to put into things at this point in time. Surprised by it as well.
But I think it worth the effort. I think it would be worth it for you as well.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
