WAW, not sure how to proceed...Part II

[dearme]

I don't know if we're "piecing" yet... In fact, despite the good signs and positive movement, I feel like we might be in a very precarious place. My wife has said some great things--that she wants to renew our lease together, and has been thinking about putting her ring back on and getting a new one to symbolize a new beginning. But there's still a lot missing from our relationship right now. The physical affection is almost nil...and I don't just mean the absence of sex. We hug, but there is no kissing. She readily accepts and often asks for massages, but doesn't return the favor. And we don't tell each other "I love you" still (I, of course, am waiting for her to start saying it again before I do). This is in stark contrast to how things were right up until she dropped the bomb. Our relationship was filled with touching, kissing, physical affection both sexual and non-sexual, and we said "I love you" at least once a day. I need to see these things return at least in some small measure, not necessarily as much as before, before I start getting confident that things are heading toward stable ground. I try to remind myself that even with the positive movement, she is probably still dealing with a lot of latent anger and resentment. Those walls are still up. I'm wondering if and kind of assuming that my best tact is to continue letting her come to me. No pressure from me for her to move any faster than she's ready to or show me any more affection than she's prepared to...

Found a new GAL activity this weekend though (really trying to stick to the GAL now and in the future). I took the kids to the local swim center/indoor pool, and 45 minutes of swimming laps really did my mind and body good. Think I'm going to try to work that in at least once a week to round out my exercise regimen.