Stillness

[JustStunned]

Aeo, Just some thoughts from reading the last few posts in your thread. I apologize I am not more familiar with it.

I think the WAS wants to believe we will all be friends after the dust settles. Mine put forth the idea we and our new spouses would be sharing holiday time in a few short years. I have great difficulty visualizing how that would work.

I think the idea of remaining friends assuages guilt over the chaos they know deep down inside they are causing. I don’t think they want to cause the chaos, and are so centered on themselves they do not “see” it unless it directly affects them.

You are right it is not your job to visit consequences upon her. Life and her choices will do that and as long as she realizes it is life and her choices she cannot truly justify blaming you although many try.

Time and patience, keep doing what works. Issues and problems can be what if-ed to the point we fail to act upon our best plans. There is an old Japanese proverb I like that reading your thread reminded me of “Vision without action is a day dream, Action without vision is a nightmare” Keep executing your plan, adjust as necessary.