Your discussion with your friend reminds me a lot of how I feel on most days. My world should be coming apart, but instead I feel more blessed and loved than ever. It's situations like this where you find out who your friends are.
Aww thanks DG! I'm glad you feel bless and loved! Your right about finding out who your friends are in times like these.
@IS - I did sleep more than 5 hrs. I slept 12 hours today. Off and on.. but it was still great!
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
Originally Posted By: Valeska19
Later I threw a party. About 25 people came. A g/f came over to do my hair and make-up. I danced my a$$ off. It was great.
WHAT A HEALTHY HAPPY THING TO DO!!! Yay you!
25 - I remember your story about going overseas on your anniversary and how healthy it was for you and a wake up call for h. It sparked my thought process for my bday so thank you! It didn't spark anything with W but I'm ok with that.
Posted my pics on FB, 5 minutes later… my w unmarried us. Still kept me on as a friend though. Guess god answered that prayer.. at least for now.
um, well, whatever...I mean I guess there's a great reply to that act of hers - but it escapes me at the moment...[/color]
Yeah. Throwing a party is a complete 180 to who my wife thinks I am. There have been moments when she has admitted that she thinks she held me back. That she kept me from having friends, and a life.
In some ways it was probably a smack in her face and for that I am sorry. I wish stuff that I did for myself didn't hurt her. However at the same time, she HAS contributed to my feeling worthless. I have to start building that back up.
So I don't know if that was a reaction from her or just a CRAZY concidence. I said that God answered a prayer because FB stresses me out. lol. Been fighting myself with expectations that her keeping her status = hope as well as my lack of strength to set some boundaries. God took care of it for me.
I'm thinking about writing MIL a response back. First to say thanks, and then to say what's on my mind. Her and w have a crappy relationship.. I know they both want one, but are stuck in so much fear to move forward. I know it's not my place, but now that my own mother is sick and my limited time with her is becoming more apparent, I want to say something about not allowing fear to paralyze them. I will think on it .. maybe post here about it. [/b] Do post here about it in ase your w could be offended/pressured freaked or whatever... IF that matters to you.
It matters and I will post here. An awesome writer I am not.
You have done a lot of deep brave work. That's why your results are apparent and profound.
Keep it up! Well done.
ps Happy belated Bday...
Thank you!
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
