Sexless 30 year old female

[Young at Heart]

You have bravely posted your thoughts on this forum for a reason. You have probably searched and thought that you are in a Sex Starved Marriage (or LTR)of sorts.

You are showing anger and pain, which are understandable.

One thing that you need to do is understand that what is important to you, may not be important to him.

Let me explain. According to 5 Languages of Love, some people need presents to feel loved (box of chocolates on V-day) and other people need things besides presents (touch, quality time, acts of service, praise or words of affirmation). You are not going to change this orientation.

Your guy obviously isn't into touch as much as you are. Sex is very important part of bonding and growing a relationship and you realize that.

You have listed a number of things where your guy could have huge self image issues as he has explained to you. His body not being as muscular as it once was, his loosing his job, etc. Lack of sleep can do all kinds of bad things to a persons body, besides being just tired. He could have some real physcial (and medical) reasons that are interferring with his sex drive.

The guy you may have fallen in love with, may have been destroyed by the job loss and letting himself go physcially may have hightened his self image and sex drive problems.

You obviously by posting her, would like to rebuild the relationship rather than letting it go.

MWD has some great practical advice on how to save relationships. One of them is not over pursuing. Another is to try to get your partner to get emotionally healed. My advice would be to get him to see a doctor for a full medical check up including blood work to see if he has any underlying medical problems that might be causing his low libido.

Once you are certain about that, start figuring out ways to work on "you" so he views you differently and so that you supply him with confidence in himself. MWD suggests that the HD partner work on GAL or getting a life, I suggest that you read up on what she suggests in this area and do that to make yourself happier. Once you are happier, you will be more fun to be around and less needy.

Good luck.