I made a mistake this weekend. During a chat after our prayer time in bed I mentioned I was scared that my H was going to give up because this is taking too long because he had not totally given up the EA with OW and can't feel anything for me (he started getting distant with me again). I knew I should not have said a word but it just came out. He had prayed as usual to have a soft heart and start to love me again and it just got to me.
He snapped at me and told me that he has been enjoying time with me and everything has been great. He said he keeps building up to the point where he is ready to let her go but then I or a counselor says something about it and his desire to do it dies to nothing.
Now my H is being even more distant to me. THis is how he acted last time he decided he was not going to try anymore and was leaving. I am kicking myself.
This morning when he was leaving for work he kissed me goodbye as usual. As he was walking out I slipped with "love you" and immediately covered my mouth as if I could stop the words that already left my mouth from coming out. He looked at me puzzled and I apologized because I did not want to push him. He told me if I felt it I could say it all I want. Man he is confusing!!! I had not said it in like 4 days. Hmm but those 4 days he has started to act distant. I tend to think that this may all be a case of him wanting to have his cake and eat it too sometimes. He is torn between the high of the EA and what he really feels inside for me. He knows he can be happy with me but he is having a hard time fighting the temptation. He wants me to love on him and he wants to hang onto that high too.
