Your W's R with your sons are between them and her. What your W is experiencing is consequences for her choices. She need to process them w/o interference from you. Let her feel it fully.
Stay out of the middle of it. It doesn't bode well for you if you don't. If you and W were to reconcile you certainly do not want to take on the position as referee between W and sons. You will have enough on your own plate.
I have dealt with the same thing between H and kids for 2 years now. I know it's hard to watch, but let her and sons figure it out.
