Here here Shiny! Listen to her Pam...in no way do the mistakes you made in your first marriage have to be payed for in your second. I am glad that you forgave yourself hon but please...never,ever think that you DESERVED to have D behave the way he has becasue of that!! {{{{pam}}}}

You know you reminded me of something though. My xh cursed me when he realised I was leaving for real. He said that he hoped I would NEVER find happiness, that I didn't deserve it. When he found out that I was going to live with my current H (he had tried to make sure THAT would never happen...another long story ) he cursed me again...he told me that GOD found me wanting and had judged me accordingly , as such I would not only never know true happiness but my life would be made miserable and all the pain I had caused him would be returned back to me a hundredfold. Do you know that that is the first thing that popped into my head when H dropped the first little bomb on me. I even later sarcastically threw that at H...I told him that it must make him feel "just ducky to know that you are fulfilling L's curse in such a grand fashion". Needless to say, h didn't appreciate that too much.

Shiny, I wish i could offer more towards helping Cj with his self-forgiveness. I know H struggled with that aspect some himself even though his admittance of it was somewhat grudging. I envy you your love letter from CJ too...I know my H would never write something like that to me. I feel lucky that he sends me the little beating heart smiley on IM which is as close to a love letter I get...lol. Actually that isn't exactly true...I do have the one and only love-letterish type of letter H has ever sent me filed away.

I'm sorry ya'all had an argument. I admire the way you put it to rest though. H and I are trying to do something similar...sometimes we succeed and sometimes we don't

Hugz,
Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi