I've had a few nothing calls from her, and a few texts. Like I said all nothing really, but the line of conversation is still there, which a week ago wasn't, so for that alone I'm thankful.
I've been pretty busy really seeing friends,etc
Spent a lot of time thinking though, I know I shouldn't but at times it's hard not to
After last weekend all contact was dead, and after what was said there was no reason for it to open, so why the big turnaround in a few days?
Is she having doubts?, the "all I want is to be happily married with the kids" line has really threw me, she also mentioned that it had taken me nearly 12 months to get where I am, so is she offering an olive branch for me to prove I can change?
Or is she just being "nice" for the children's sake?
But in all the conversation on Saturday she never mentioned the kids once?
All very confusing!!!!
I cannot control or think for her, and I need to stop trying to think, what she is thinking!!
On Saturday when I posted I was very positive, and in reflection probably too positive, and as time has passed although there has been contact, maybe I thought there would have been more, and I'm now questioning everything??
I need to get back where I was last week, no hope and no future, it protects the heart with that mentality.
I will be very nice when we speak, and always positive, it's the patience and time thats the killer, it's the games the mind plays with you in bed, the questions, the why's.
I wish I could turn it all off and just be me, but I'm me with a wife and children who are not with me, and that's the hard bit.
Thanks for listening guys, I needed to get things off my chest.
