Still Shining!

[psluke]

I am afraid a big part of that answer won't help you with CJ.

I have paid the full price. Retribution has been served.

I can never make it up, but I can now FULLY understand what I did.

And it happened for me when I read Gary Chapman's book The other side of Love. But that might not help CJ if the very Christian base of the book would bother him.

Plus it was a part of my building of and finding of myself. With my reading here and R books I can see what happened to my first marriage. It may NOT have been salvagable, but I sure can see where we went wrong and neither of us knew any better. I was 18, young and foolish.

I think Michell's books should be a part of pre-marriage counseling. You should have some idea of what you are getting into and how to make it grow and thrive. When you are newly wed you think love will take care of all of that by itself.

I think I'm rambling tonight.

Maybe CJ can come to see how his not forgiving himself actually hurts you as well as himself and your present time together.

He at least already has read a lot on relationships and he knows you have come a long ways towards forgiving him.

I bought David a book, no idea how he liked it called, The Forgiving Marriage. It seemed pretty good what I read of it. Dealt a lot with forgiveness.