Turned out to be pretty much a non-issue. That seems to be more and more common between us nowadays. If I don't make a big deal out of it, be non-reactive, then any argument doesn't last.
Wedding was overall very good. Initially it seemed that W was avoiding me, but it turned out that she was just having a rough day. She seemed a bit flustered, but kept repeatedly telling me how good I looked. She looked amazing also, and I told her so a few times.
Since she was part of the wedding party, my contact was minimal. Normal times would have had her coming down to spend quite a bit of time with me, but I honestly wasn't expecting that this time around. I was just happy to get to spend a little time. I had to leave and drive home, so I asked to step in when she was slow dancing with her sister and a marine from the wedding party. She seemed very freaked out, though I'm not sure why. I got to dance with her (friendly for me, uncomfortable for her) for about 30 seconds before song ended. I passed her back and said goodbye but then another slow song started, so I danced with her sister for a minute. We are good friends, and their was nothing weird about it.
I said goodbye again, and drove home.
This morning when they got back, W was angry about a few things (car not being lined up properly, some sundries I'd purchased laid out on her bed). In an effort to break from being controlling of a situation, I said I understood that she'd had a bad weekend and was upset, however the children had been challenging and I just hadn't gotten a chance to put things away. I said I know that she understood that sometimes you just don't get things done (she's apologized unsolicited many times when I come home and things are messy or not done). I just asked for her understanding.
That pretty much seemed to end it, which is a definite improvement from how that would have gone in the past.
Later on I was listening to W and SIL stories about how the weekend was difficult. I gave some good advice and gave and got hugs from both of them while letting them know that they were appreciated.
SIL says now that W has told her that if we'd gone to MC from the start we probably wouldn't be where we are now. That's particularly frustrating because it's what I asked from at the start. However, it does show that she views our R as having some progress. Whether or not that eventually means she doesn't want to get divorced I can't say. I'm just happy to be having some good times, even if it's just friendly right now. I'm not allowing myself to hope to much, but it's been really great to have her treating me with respect and caring instead of frustration and anger.
