The sign I'm looking for is that my W would be willing to work thru these issues together, and not take it personally if we don't hit the ground running.
I am no genius but I'm thinkin' if you just told her this, it may go a long way toward solving your problem(s). Seriously
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted