Wife no longer in love with me - Part 3

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Thanks AC...I have heard of him and last year read his book 'what you can change and what you can't'. I'm hopeless at reading those sort of books, so I need to focus more.

My W always says one of her main reasons why this happened is because she got 'scared' - I just can't stop thinking about this and how she can ever not be 'scared'. She is scared about the future with me, scared of having kids, scared I wouldn't change, scared that if things have gone bad this early in a M then its not a good sign, scared that she will be trapped in Australia if we had kids and it went bad. She got scared that I was so unhappy and not coping with change and work that she couldn't handle it and put a wall up, fell out of love with me and left, as it was easier to do this than support me.
Its just so frustrating as none of this ever needed to happen if she has just hung around and worked on our M together.
Now all she sees is negatives and says our R was 'always a struggle' - yeah we had our ups and downs, but who doesn't - that's life! I feel she has such an unrealistic expectation of R and M that she will never be happy.