Conflict avoidance? I don't know that I see that in Tad's posts. I do see fear, but I think that he is in a tough spot in the sense that if he files, he takes control but he does something he doesn't want. If he doesn't, he lives at the end of the rope....
Fear is the thing you need to overcome in my opinion. Your fear seems to be causing you more pain than anything else you or anyone could ever do.
My suggestion? Identify the cause of the fear and deal with it. Rationalize what the fear is really made up of. Be honest about every bit of it. I think you'll find that you are better than fine regardless of the fears you had before coming true.
Overcome that fear. The rest doesn't seem terribly important right now Tad. Once you tame the fear, I think you'll see that.
As for fighting for or against the divorce? I think that will seem very different when you overcome your fears. Take action then.
In the meantime, you cannot stop her from what she is doing. I'm sorry she feels like she needs to do these things, but you are not in control of her feelings. She may not be either. But you are able to identify and address your own fears.
You have nothing to lose, right?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
