Just a thought - you might want to check out a book called "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. Or, for the more up to date discussion, "Flourish" by the same author.
It may help you reframe some of your thinking and conceive of new possibilities.
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.