Yeah Huh and Chaos... just using this as a passive sounding board... sometimes a guy just has to vent to work it through...
Plus some of the stuff is info that might be necessary for mediation, like kid visits or the fact that W has integrated OM3 into a more familial role with my kids and in the house...
Not a lot of opportunity (financially and distance wise) to GAL around here, so I spend a lot of time walking the bush or putzking around the yard...
Not sure if I mentioned it but also a lot of what I write (journal) is intended to be a written form of patterned behaviour, to see if my W's behaviour is changing or simply staying the same...
It is not so much (not at all, IMHO) expectations... aside from I expect that my W will continue to behave exactly as she has which in many ways is exactly the way she always has (motivators, for example; money)... for example, she's bounced a bit from "boomerang" type MLC behaviours to "off-and-on" (very low contact, very guarded) and now back to "boomerang"...
It means nothing in the moment... if she's MLC, she is likely going to be in her current mode for at least another year to year and a half...
Anyhow, like I said, what I put here is venting and journaling for long term records...
But my expectations are... in about a month, we will be "legally separated" and shortly after, D...
The ideal way to handle this IMHO, is more of the same from me... but when the pressure builds up inside me, I vent... I'm back to the person she married with... "positive adjustments"... so I'm OK with who I am now and will continue to better myself as time goes on... that's without a doubt... not stuck, by any means...
Early in the beginning of when I subscribed here, I was asked the usual question (at least at the time) if an A was a deal breaker... I said it was... but realized, it didn't have to be... but I've come to realize that... at my core... cheating is a deal breaker... dishonesty is a deal breaker... emotional abuse is a deal breaker...
If it wasn't for the kids... certainly if we weren't M... I would have been long gone... and completely NC with my W... no second chances...
I expect... to be long divorced from the woman before she is anywhere likely to have a change of heart (not expected) or that I will in any way have any... "friendship" with her...
I have a lot going for me... I really am a good person with a lot of great characteristics... I just don't happen to have a keen focus on, nor am I highly motivated by money... that's the one thing that I'm looking to change over the next 3 years... get a "career" and develop it like the "average joe"...
