Got an apology from XH. Need advice now.

[AntoniaB]

OW would be performing--I checked her schedule. The other times he emails are times I know she is likely at practice or he's in his classroom. He doesn't live with her--he has his own apt. But I get the impression that he is at her place a lot or vice versa if only because of when the emails come.

Do I think he was intentionally being cruel? NO. Not at all. This sort of "insensitivity" is typical of him and has been since he stopped spewing venom and being "the good guy MLCer." I think that emotionally he has no empathy at all and is very childlike, to the point where he can't see that it might be hurtful.

EX. When he told me of his trip to Europe with OW where he didn't mention she was there, all I said back was "jeez, you must be blowing through your property settlement buyout pretty fast" and I put a winky face so he'd know I was just being facetious and not mean. His response? "Oh no, I haven't spent any of the settlement money except 5k for furniture and stuff for my apt.; I tutored after school to pay for it, and besides, you'd be surprised, it doesn't really cost much more than any of the vacations we took to VA."

Yep. Made a reference to our vacations, which were the very BEST MEMORIES that he and I have of 23 years together. Just made the reference in the context of telling me about the trip with OW.

He'd never see that as cruel. He'd say he was just being honest/making conversation but that if I don't want him to talk to me he'll go away.

Like dealing with a toddler, I swear. On an emotional level.