Got an apology from XH. Need advice now.

[AntoniaB]

What I can add to this also is that he is not the guy he was last year...for all last year, he had a new administrator, a personal friend, running his school, just was full of fun and life and LOVED his job for the first time ever, LOVED his new life, all that. His beloved principal became the center of a scandal and lost his job and was replaced by two women with not a ton of years teaching. XH has 23 years. OW has 5 years experience. He is MISERABLE at work now. Friends are telling me his FB posts are constantly now about how awful his job is--of course he always says his personal life is awesome, but the job is terrible. He doesn't get that HE is the problem. HIS attitude is the problem. He told me a few weeks ago that the only hope he has of any happiness is to find it all in his non-work hours, because there is no way he will ever find any contentment in his job (incidentally he is a wonderful teacher--but he just cannot deal with administration like an adult and he lets that part of the job destroy the whole thing for him).

So what I know of him now is that where last year was rosy and lovely every day, it's not anymore. When he is miserable about work, he can't control himself. He drinks more, he gets agitated more. He puts an enormous amount of pressure on the woman in his life to make his life outside work "count." So part of me is laughing now as his true colors are starting to come out, and she is going to have to bear the brunt of it, and she has no idea what she's in for...

Do I think this is why he's reaching out in weird ways? Yes. Because she is involved in a lot of theater stuff outside school and has a "life", and he just goes to work and that's it.

It's hard not to be tempted to talk to him because in a way I feel like I'm sticking it to her, since he hides it from her. But so far I've resisted on the grounds that I'm trying to DETACH, not ATTACH to him.