NEED ADVICE

[gunny]

stunned,
Good to hear from you. Just got back from a trip to Pennsy, where s and I own a cabin that we had planned to retire to in 8 years. Have owned it since 2002, up near the ny border not far from the finger lakes. We went up there to bring back stuff she wanted to bring out to Ohio, christmas decorations, grandmas china, photos, etc. It was excruiciating to do this, for both of us, we cried, hugged, then had to wait around to wait for realtor to come by. We are in the process of deciding what to do with it, we own it outright and if we sell, of course we will split the diff, or, if we hold on to it, she will be compensated with funds from my 457 at work. Hard to decide, if I hold onto it, every time I go up there I will be thinking of s, and all the good times we had, if we sell, there goes a link to my past. To her credit, she is not putting any pressure on me to decide, she is content to wait until the spring to implement things.

This was a tough weekend, the ride is 5 hours from our condo, so we stayed over night at my brother cabin which is about 20 miles away from mine. Just like old times, sat around drinking wine, watching a movie, relaxing, if you walked in on us you would think we were a happily married couple.

I am continually asking myself, is it possible to have a MLC and not be exhibiting typical irrational behavior you would expect, i.e. yelling, screaming, meanness, and instead be seemingly rational, empathetic to to your spouses needs, sad, feel great guilt, but moving along in a methodical fashion as if you are hellbent on following through on a notion that by her own addmission came to her in "an ephipany" the night before I came home from florida? To some of the very experienced souls on this board, is this possible? One minute she is all business, the next she is almost like her own self. Last night she slipped and called me "honey" a couple of times, its kind of scary.

I know that this is a phase of lbs that I am experiencing. I've read the post about it, and it is right on. I am really amazed at how analytic and scientific some of the research is on MLC AND LBS, its like a whole subculture onto itself.

Don't worry about detracting from my sitch, believe me, reading about others helps alot. I read NavyGuys sitch, that helped, so, by all means, keep me posted on what is going on with yours.

Well, just ranting, thanks for listening. To all out there, hope the weekend ends up great and the coming week is good.

S/F GUNNY