Nearly 5 years but who is counting?

[forward]

Beatrice,
It appears that his X sees him as hanging around, and that is what matters.

This isn't about being so steadfast and "good" that eventually she'll see the light. If that is what MMF is waiting for, methinks he's got a long wait. That's because attraction is not rational. Continually available....well, is that attractive? Heck no. You tend to want someone who is a little out of reach--a little "bad," a bit of a challenge.

This creates a challenge for MMF, but I would discourage all involvement w/X. Create some space and mystery!

If you read stories of people who actually get apologies and interest from their X, most of the time the former spouse has indeed thoroughly GAL, did their homework on themselves, and really evaluated whether they want X back.

As far as dating...it's up to MMF, and you have to be careful not to hurt anyone, but perhaps the experience of meeting others would be good for him, would help clarify what he needs for the future. It would then be up to him to see if his X would a)come around and b) be able to be what HE needs.