Gosh SSM I am sorry but it IS hard for me to understand. It just is. It's a big part of my m and if my h were in a wheelchair, I swear we'd manage to find a way. So that's my perception.
Good to hear. That's the kind of feedback that has been helpful to me, to know that many women are different from my wife in their approach to this problem.
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Re-read your post. You called your high libido (and the frustration) a gift. And you do talk a lot about your ability to "perform" at length and with frequency,
Sorry, the "it" had closer proximity in the paragraph to frustration than libido.
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SOMETIMES, I think you want permission to leave her, or cheat on her or
No, I'm not that passive that I need permission etc.
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you want us to praise you for not changing something important in your m.
No, not really looking for praise or permission.
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That's what I don't get b/c we are all about solutions to marital problems here, not just saying I have this big problem but I won't do anymore about it b/c I already did...
So what do you want me to do? Repeat things?
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From the women I know who openly discuss sex, there are fewer headaches than television suggests.
(Or Maybe the shows are written by men and it's their perceptions?) What I know, is that these women mostly like sex and the closeness it provides.
I just heard a statistic from some national survey that about 20% of married couples in the US have sex less than 10 times a year, or something like that, and that the actual national average is sex only once a week for married couples. From which I would surmise the average husband is masturbating more often than he is having sex with his wife. Or is my math off?
I really get the impression that young couples often talk a lot about how much sex they are having because they think they are unusual when they read these national surveys. But when the babies, the jobs, the house chores, the in-laws, the schools, and the after-school SUV chauffering all start up, the sexual frequency pretty much plummets to near zero and stays there for many couples. At which point they keep their mouths shut about their sexual frequency. And for too many men, it's back to the porn they thought they'd never need again when they first met their wives.
If only I could enjoy porn more! ;-) I tell you, one of the most amazing things was to learn of another couple we know where the guy was struggling with porn addiction. What stunned me was that his wife was full of positive energy and loved sex, not to mention she was also very attractive, and ... get this... she couldn't get him to ML with her. What the #$%&???? It made me realize just how different my perspective could be from another man, never mind a woman.