The past week has been difficult in dealing with the e-mail exchange between W and me regarding her blow-up with SS24. We had been getting along fairly well until then; now it's back to NC for everyone. We also had a large project to get out the door by Friday at work; put in a 60 hour week to finish the permit drawings. So I was emotionally exhausted by Friday. Spent Friday night going to the gym then watching TV for too many hours into the night.
Woke up yesterday morning and immediately thought of W; wondered if she was waking up alone in her bed or with the OM. Not healthy, I know; but it was something I could not fight. I also became angry at the fact I was left with the house full of needed repairs and renovations while she is living in a brand new condo with no maintenance issues at all.
Fortunately the Travellers had a gig in Gettysburg National Park so that occupied my time with preparing and then playing. But it was a beautiful fall day and my mind wandered to W again; I wondered if she and OM were out for an afternoon ride on his motorcycle, which depressed me even more.
We left Gettysburg late afternoon and then drove to Bethlehem, PA for their annual Celtic Classic Festival, which was a huge event - 250,000 attendees over three days. Met some other friends there, had a few good Irish beers and some food then saw Solas (very good internationally known Irish band) in concert at nearby Moravian College. So the evening was better; at least I was able to put W out of my mind for a while, thought he fact that most of our friends were there with their spouses or partners was a little tough to swallow. But I know W would not have come anyway even if we were together; she had no interest in an event like that.
This morning I'm here catching up. Lately I've logged into this site and just become depressed reading all of the new stories that are exactly the same as the old stories. I guess it will never end.
I've given out advice to many others here that says you have to let go of your WAS and work on yourself. Lately I'm finding it hard to take and implement my own advice.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
