Snodderly, thank for stopping by. I value your advice, and your last sentence gave me pause.
Am I OK? A very good question, and one to which I would say yes and no! I am well, and I know that I glow with health because friends who I haven't seen in a while have all commented on this.
I have largely come to terms with my xh's MLC, and have a wonderful project renovating a house in the country. However, I do think in some ways a later MLC - those of us who are substantially 50+, is rather different. As we get older, in many ways we move off centre stage, and had thought to finish our lives quietly with our spouse. So, like Brookie, I am thinking about who I really am and what I want.
in addition a number of good friends, and my brother, all have health issues in their lives which I am concerned with.
My kids are amazing, and have dealt with their much loved father's defection in their own ways, but the hurt and damage lies deep within them. This worries me.
25years has posted very wisely about the shame that the MLcer actually feels about the hurt they have done, and not being able to face this fully.
I suspect, although we can never know, that my xh is avoiding this at present. By which I mean consciously avoiding it rather than, as in the past, ignoring it.
I think he is on a knife edge, as I posted, and it could go either way. So I am staying very still and going about my life as best I can. I am not unhappy, but I am concerned at present. Even though my xh has been gone a while, in terms of the time we spent together it is a small proportion.
I would like him to be OK for himself and for his children. it is hard to see someone you loved very much so damaged and so hurting. But there is nothing I can do to help. And as we know here, that in itself is hard too.
