Are there any midlife women who want daily sex?

[25yearsmlc]

Happy, unhappy.... whatever you want to call it if you want to put a single label on it. What we've managed better than most in our situation is to seperate the sexual issue. Sure, it's a big issue for me. But I separate it from a lot of other things that are good. Is that so hard to understand?

Gosh SSM I am sorry but it IS hard for me to understand. It just is. It's a big part of my m and if my h were in a wheelchair, I swear we'd manage to find a way. So that's my perception.


Yes, I've wondered why she wouldn't let me touch her in places. But because of lack of experience and not knowing about the SA, at first I thought it was just shyness on her part. When I was young I wasn't really sure when, how, how intensly etc. pleasure centers worked for women. Now I know better, but only through books, videos and what people have told me.

The question is simply what can I do and what can she be convinced to do to solve the problem. I'm not interested in who's at fault.

Good to keep the focus off of blame...as long as the differences get their attention.

Sorry I mentioned anything about any "gift" and that you're tired of reading this. I didn't say I enjoyed my sexual frustration. If you think you're tired of reading this, imagine how tired I am of trying to solve the problem.

Re-read your post. You called your high libido (and the frustration) a gift. And you do talk a lot about your ability to "perform" at length and with frequency,

but it's referring to you being sexual, alone. So I don't know how relevant it is.


So what do you think is the real issue I'm avoiding?

You seem to want to find contradictions in what I say, as if that's the key here. What I've said it pretty straight-foward, or so it seems to me. Why would the problem need to be deep psychological issues on my part?

SOMETIMES, I think you want permission to leave her, or cheat on her or

you want us to praise you for not changing something important in your m.

That's what I don't get b/c we are all about solutions to marital problems here, not just saying I have this big problem but I won't do anymore about it b/c I already did...

You say sex is importatnt o you and you talk of all the lacking there is, with your high libido versus her low one, only to then say "but we are fine otherwise." So, idk what to do with that.


Not saying that's not possible, but I've been through a lot of therapy so far. I'm in a difficult situation in terms of what I want and what I don't want to give up. To put it in perspective, compared to solving this problem, finding a new high-paying job a few months ago in this economy was easy by comparison.

What do I want? Just to be heard.

Then just say that^^.

You "wish" things would change but, You are not sure you want anything to change if it means rocking the boat too much...that choice is YOURS & yours alone, and I am not trying to make it for you.
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I wish I had had this perspective earlier in my marriage when I didn't know better than to assume that things were pretty much normal evey time I heard a joke about woman always having headaches on the Tonight Show.

From the women I know who openly discuss sex, there are fewer headaches than television suggests.

(Or Maybe the shows are written by men and it's their perceptions?) What I know, is that these women mostly like sex and the closeness it provides.