Wife no longer in love with me - Part 3

[cam]

Ive been going over and over this in my head for a long time, and yeah I may be a fool, but I find it hard to believe she is seeing someone. The reasons why I think this:

She is a very emotional person, she cries all the time, so yesterday was nothing new.
She is messed up, I just think she wants to be alone to find herself again
She cares for me and we get on well as we always have, we are the best and closest of friends.
I pushed her away, I caused a lot of this. Heck, once I even threw my wedding ring at her a couple of years ago after an argument about something I can't even remember when we were drunk, saying I didnt want to be married.
She left because she wants kids and doesn't think it is right to do that with me in the R we had, plus if things went wrong again she would be trapped in Australia.
As my title says, she no longer loves me as she once did, she sees me as a friend, which I dont want.
She likes to be on her own, and is content with what she's doing and the life she is giving up.

Now they probably don't sound like reasons, but I know this person better than anyone, and it's not in her nature. Yep, I never thought she would leave me, but in reflection on how I was and how uneven I made the marriage, I don't blame her. I can see and acknowledge everything I did wrong, so if I was treated like that then I would leave too.
It's how she copes with everything in her life that goes bad - she runs away and it works for her as it has in the past.
Yep I am probably an idiot and who knows, she could be, but I know for sure there was no one from feb to April, whether there is now, who knows. If there is, it would only be recent.
She is a very good looking woman, and would have a lot of guys hitting on her, no doubt.
As for the tears yesterday, I think they were because she had to tell me the next step, splitting assets. Also once I mentioned I was getting myself back to the cam she met in Portugal, she immediately said that's the cam she fell in love with and started crying more.
It was quite final yesterday too. She knows and can see the work Ive been doing, even though on this forum it comes across like I'm not getting anywhere, I feel I am. I use this place at times to vent, sulk and get advice.

Who knows?? I may be the biggest fool here.
I really don't want to know anyway.