Not quite in midseason form...yet

[25yearsmlc]

MTS,

Well, a crappy date of significance is coming up for you, and it is really hitting you hard. I get that.

You wrote:
I do fear "life after." I miss the companionship. I guess deep down inside I'm more afraid of becoming hardened. I KNOW I can move on from her if I HAVE to but I'm honestly scared of whether or not I'd ever be able to move TO someone else.

MTS, of course you miss companionship. It's a crucial function of marriage. And you went from having a roomate, companion and lover, and a future planned, to having no one there. I get it, man I do.

I'm scared of not being able to trust a woman again. I'm afraid that if this doesn't somehow work out, I'll be alone.


Man I love your frankness. This^^^ is absolutely the biggest core fear we ALL have.

We fear being alone when our kids go off to college. We fear being alone when we are dateless two Saturdays in a row.

And we certainly fear being alone when we are rejected.

Total honesty on your end. But please, please, don't ever hold her behavior against the rest of the female gender. Most w's don't cheat.

And you'll be very careful with your next partner whether it's your w or someone else.

YOU are different now. So the next R will be different too. Remember that.

You also said:

I've known this woman for 7 years...and just like they were some of the best of her life, they were some of the best of mine. I guess I'm just scared of the fact that if a woman that I've known for 7 years is capable of this...what is someone I've known for 7 minutes capable of?


Amen MTS...amen. The floor got yanked out from under you. The person you heard vows from (and made to) broke hers in a pretty public way.

That hurts.

When my h of 25 years actually drove off to live 300 miles away from us, (and one year later he moved 3000 miles away) our 3 kids and I stood in the driveway...and it was surreal.

NIghtmarishly surreal.

And MTS, if I could learn to trust THAT man again, you can trust someone too.

I'm here to say, It can be done my friend.

You also wrote:

. I enjoy being a husband. I've greatly been looking forward to starting a family...and I don't even know where I'd BEGIN to look for another woman. I don't do the club scene anymore...and when I do I don't feel comfortable and definitely am not looking for a W there..


First, I love that you said you love being a h. Beautiful. And MTS, the right women will sense this. Women who want a relationship won't flee and those who just want superficial stuff will. It's like a built in screening process.

Second, your comment about meeting women in bars is spot on. Honestly, how would someone come to expect a real r from meeting in a bar. I mean it's possible but is it as likely to be lasting?

I meet men when I work, when I do parenting things. at the store, in classes I've taken, at political evnts and discussion groups. And of course, at church...

You'll meet them MTS, oh yeah. It will up to YOU when you are ready to act on that.

My point is, But don't fear not meeting them!! And don't fear meeting them either...

When you are ready, or when you are lonely enough, pray that God opens your heart and mind to the right woman, and in HIS time it will happen.


It's one thing to "think" all this; it's another to apply it, as you say. But that's kind of where we are here. We all have to realize/accept that

Where the head goes, the heart will follow...IN TIME...if you are open.

Hang in there MTS, you are about to turn a corner and see that you are right about what God has planned for you.

It's something special and it is on its' way. So Be open to receiving it!