Not quite in midseason form...yet

[MadeToSucceed]

And I understand that of course you hope that this letter sparks something in her. But keep expectations low. Remember, this is as much for you as it is for her. Release yourself from the mistakes you made, forgive yourself and be prepared to move forward.

I'm with you. My expectations are low. I HAVE to keep them low because at this point that is the only thing that will keep me sane. I honestly will do my best to "expect" nothing.

You may want to go over your bullet list, too, and re-order it terms of what is a priority for her. If there's some things on there that are low priority, get rid of them.

Thanks jb. The area I plan to spend the most time on is the bullet list. I think that is what's most important for the letter.

Again IMO, I think you should just apologize instead of asking for her forgiveness. Stick to what you control, which is you. (And btw, I think it goes without saying that you're motivated by a hope that your letter improves her opinion of you. It's pretty low key and focuses on you, and I personally don't see the harm in that. Sending it after the D seems pointless, to me.

Thank you for your thoughts adinva. I only mentioned my motivation for the letter because someone asked me specifically (I think 25). I'm with you on your thoughts of sending it before the D though. Ideally I'd like to send in the middle of the coming week but as CS said, I'll need to take time to see if it feels right. If I don't think that it is the right time to send it, I may not send it at all.

The sad part, which really I struggle with, there is a very good chance both of us will have moved on.

All that growing while our W's were just spinning..... once they stop. She will see the new you and wonder WTH she was doing.

But there is a good chance you, and I, will have met someone else, someone else who would probably fight just as hard for you as you did for your W.

Try and picture that. What will I do when W or XW eventually reaches out and she will, they all do at some point.

Finah,

I struggle here a great deal. To be honest, I'm actually afraid of that or rather afraid that I'll have difficulty moving on. Not necessarily FROM her but TO anyone else. I'm not sure if what I just typed makes sense...can't really put it into words what I'm trying to convey maybe.

Your W has made it very evident that she doesn't want you in her life anymore, so give her a heaping helping of space. Good for you, and good for her, too. Gives her time to think about what she might be missing, and gives you time to heal.

Nothing is louder or more resounding now than your silence.

This is good for me to read west. I guess seeing it in "print" reiterates that we've gone down this path because SHE has chosen to. I know it will sound silly but I guess I find myself wondering why did she bother to text me on my birthday back in May (even though she was in Vegas when she texted me)...I guess that was her way of being able to say to herself that she's still being nice to me in spite of or something. Ultimately, it can't have any impact on what I decide to do.