Just don't understand...

[tjb54]

25yearsmlc,
All the projects I'm doing I guess is my attempt at 180. Would love to GAL, but all these project buildup have been one of the major problems. We're living in one of her parents farmhouse and part of not paying rent was that I was to work on the house. I never felt a need to rush, because in my mind, what was the rush? It's not like I was going anywhere, right? Yeah, I'm a dumbarse!! Hindsight I guess...

When we moved to where we're at 4 years ago, I started working for the FIL. I married the farmers daughter basically. Step-daughter anyway. What blows is that her mother and FIL are totally supportive of W and her decision. They are really close. Two weeks after our talk on 7/18 my FIL told me that this was going to be the last season farming this farm. He has two of them. So he'd no longer need my help after this Fall. So in the last month, I've lost my job and W. Dropped 20 pounds in 4 weeks though.
Depression diet -> not for everyone.

I'm totally disappointed with myself about the sex issue!! Sad this is that I recall that we had a serious conversation a year ago this past March. I just didn't listen! I heard, but didn't listen. Wish I had a time machine....

I've contacted a lawyer, just haven't hired one yet. He told me that if my FIL wants me out, it's his call. Since it's his house and daughter. Hoping he doesn't use this cards, but it's a possibility. Wife has made it clear that she wants me to move out. I'm basically stalling, so as I don't end up wasting money on some apartment. I'd rather not want my kids to be with dad in some dive somewhere till I get a place.

My W is from a divorced family. Her parents split when they were about our ages now. Also, my SD12 is the same age as when her parents divorced. Maybe that's why it's acceptable? More than one she's told me that she knows exactly what SD12 will go through. I on hte other hand don't believe she does. Reason being that now SD12 will have 2 dads that will no longer be. My heart breaks thinking about it. I'm super dad to these kids and she knows that. She's told me as of recent.

We function as a family and I believe it's gonna hit them hard. She mentioned again about a week ago that we should inform the kids. My thoughts are, why rush it?

Have more to say, but on a positive note. Wife jsut texted me and will be arriving shortly. We're going to a big birthday bash for a friend of ours. It's been a while since we've done anything without the kids. Looking forward to it. Unfortunately, there will be a lot of her friends that are in the know about us along with her mother and FIL. Might be a little uncomfortable. Ahhh well, me needs a break.