Yes, I know. If I thought there were some real chance she was still deep inside willing to give our marriage another chance, I would maybe not draw such a hard line. But I looked her in the eye and she told me she would be happy if I met someone and started dating. She meant it. She is too far gone and is not coming back. So at this stage the truth is the ONLY way I can really begin working on myself is for her to either end her affair or leave. I will not be able to make much progress if I have to continue watching her get all dolled up to go sleep with someone else. It's toxic. So she didn't give me a choice. Although she still has the choice of ending the affair and staying.
As far as dictating what is moral, you're right - but I am now starting to feel she is actually amoral and doesn't have much of a sense of right and wrong.
What I am doing to work on myself is I am learning to stand up for myself and directly state what I feel and what I want without apologizing, without backtracking and without passive aggressive comments, tone or undertone. My heart told me we can't live like this and now I am making sure we don't.
