Been feeling down last 2 days, hopeless and depressed. But upbeat around W. She just left with D to go to the barn. That has not slowed down. D asked how my day was so far I said pretty good. W said see you later and left with D I just said have a great time. I have been conflicted because if W really follows throught with the D we must sell the house. The house needs cleaning and things thrown out so it can be shown. W has not done anything in that regards and I guess I will just wait and see what she does. I have not said anything or done anything to the house. I'm very inpatient in the past I wold have by now packed, painted and cleaned and done a million things to get it ready. But I've done nothing but fight the urge. I guess that is a 180 for me.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Don't worry about the house. All that will come in time. Keep a positive attitude going. I know it's hard. No matter what happens you will be fine.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
There are going to be families everywhere. You can't stop taking part and enjoying GAL just b/c you see a couple out with their kids.
Next time, have a chat with yourself standing before a mirror. Speak as though you were talking to a friend. Tell yourself out loud that you are going to such & such place and expect to see couples and their children. Tell yourself that it is painful and triggers memories but it's a process every person faces when they are the LBS. Give yourself a pep talk. Challenge yourself. This might sound a bit silly, but it works well for a lot of people.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
are you sure you can't at least clean up the house so it looks nice and you'd be doing some helping there?
I don't mean to help sell it (but if you do have to sell it, it is best for ALL to get the most you can sell it for)
but to improve your surroundings so you are not so down in the dumps.
It's maybe a piece of GAL?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Sandi I will try your suggestions but not big on talking to myself. 25 the house is in pretty good shape. I was Ws personal construction worker. Needs some touching up but nothing big. But we have lots of stuff to pack but no one is packing? I had this weird urge to cry and I did, not much of a crier but I feel better. W has said several times that she will do things to get it ready but has not done anything and I know it will take months to get it ready. Maybe that is a good thing.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I know it's hard to see families when you are out, but like Sandi said, you are going to have to accept that and talk yourself through it. I took my 4 kids to the beach for vacation on my own just 2 weeks after my H moved out. Staying at a family resort was tough on me, but I got through it. You can, too. Sandi had a good suggestion for talking to yourself. Maybe it's not something you feel comfortable doing at first, but DB'ing isn't about doing what you're comfortable with...your old ways aren't working for you. It's about coming out of your comfort zone and trying new things, to improve yourself and hopefully your marriage. I hope your cry helped release some tension and you can feel a little relief. I know that always helps me. Best wishes to you, lc4
I know I have to accept what is happening and that W is in control and not me. But I'm in control of my thoughts and emotions. I think when I don't sleep I feel more confused. Last night slept about 6 hrs so I didn't feel so hopeless today. Today I closed my pool and felt sad that I may not swim in it again. W actually helped to put the cover on it. W this morning was acing weird. Looking into space we almsot bumped into eachother in the ktichen but she did not run away as she has been. Won't read into it. Today W said she was going to the barn later with D and would be home by 6pm. Usually this would have upset me but I said have fun and I went to the airport to fly my models. While I was there I called W and asked if she wanted me to cook as she would be late, she said sure just put the chicken in and a pot of water for pasta. I did all the cooking during our time T she began cooking every night for the past 8 years as I get home too late to dod so. Actually I taught her how to cook. Well hopefully tomorrow will be an ok day. Time for video games until they gat home.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
There are a lot of good games on! Tomorrow is the Redskins/Dallas game so there's that...but getting outside to fly planes is smart. (My h flies one too).
otherwise all I have for you right now Rick, is send you some hugs.
Sorry
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Thanks 25 just talked to my mom and she said I should move in with her? Argentina? No way she is a pain the arse but I love her to pieces. I can use all the huggs I can get. I don't watch sports other than the World Cup soccer which is every 4 years. I love video games and cooking shows. The planes I fly are models not the real one, afraid of flying? Call me weird? I had a decent day over all but I'm getting tired of the rejection. I think soon I will become the WAH and just phucking move on. ((( hugs back at ya 25))) so glad you'r in my corner. Could not have made it this far without you and the others. love u guys!!!
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
