May I think you make a really good point about what Ken said, and I would have to agree. ExBF has his points of view but the way he copes and communicates is NOT OKAY. Shutting down, running away, abusing me, reacting and pointing fingers at me is not okay behavior and not justifiable (except based on his traumatic past, but heck he's 33 - get over it).
I also am admiring how you are taking care of yourself and how you now have H's attention! Wow. I long for that day - that he might give me his attention and listen to how he hurt me and see his own behavior, but we have a long road yet and I don't know that that will even ever happen.
