I think part of the problem is I'm too much of a perfectionist (in some ways). In M, we get to see a person's imperfections. My attitude towards my W has been a problem in the past. I need to open up and become a more compassionate person. I need to allow myself to be intimate with imperfection (my interpretation of it).
I'm not sure I agree with your drive hypothesis. She usually has to prod me to go out dancing. Once I'm there, the music and the sights and sounds of the dance venue get me stimulated. I usually want to stay longer than my W. I seem to have the same style sexually. I have the same style with vacations. I have to be prodded to go, but am glad once I'm there.
The sign I'm looking for is that my W would be willing to work thru these issues together, and not take it personally if we don't hit the ground running.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
