What she said! A very wise woman who continues to come and give you gold standard advice
Many MLcers, and my xh did it in spades, do what I call 'Pass for normal' periodically. It is disorienting, because they seem a little like their old selves, and you suddenly think OMG perhaps it is me after all. The strain of being normal usually seems to provoke them to new heights of craziness shortly thereafter, so hold on to your seat on this one.
After the first few times I got used to it, and even used to say to myself OK here is Mr Pass-for-normal today.
The other thing is they can't keep it up for very long before the facade seems to crack, and the craziness leaks out . . . .
It is very early days for most MLC. Let her go Tad, and while it is good to keep hoping, there is no quick fix or miracle cure for all of this, and frankly I agree with 25 - you seem like an awfully nice man, but could use a little more work.
I liked who I was, but I like the new me even more. And I am still work in progress.
Also divorce isn't the end. Read Valeria's thread, read Holly's thread. Sometimes they wake up years later . . . . and see what a gem you have become, and want back in. But because you have become such a gem all too often, someone else has recognised it too!
But please, no romantic involvement for a good while. All too often it is an enjoyable distraction from working on ourselves, and then if our WAS wakes up we have some tough choices to make.
This journey of ours isn't exactly about feeling good, and it isn't about instant happiness. Those are good goals, but only achieved by hard work, not our spouse 'waking up' or our finding another 'soul mate' The fact that we think these might be the answers is a sign of our our malaise.
