Will - I read posts like yours and people's replies and it hurts. I don't believe that even in my wife's condition, that she would pursue another man, but reading stuff like this and from Test M. I can't help but feel naieve.
My W is a great mother with strong family ties, but the more I read into stuff about MLC and look at our past, I see that she has a pretty low self esteem. She was always popular and outgoing and now that I think of it, she always did things for others and I think that's why she's having such a rough go of this. She has no self identity and doesn't know where to find it.
Will, if you're sitch is 'seemingly' normal, then perhaps try something new with your W. I can't see where it's all bad if in your efforts to work on you, you do something new with your W and share -> you. I don't know that anyone has mentioned that you can do things with your W if she's willing and still GAL. Much of my problems in the past have been about saying, but not doing. My current situation has turned me into a do-er and not just a talker. Even if I don't have my W wanting to join me. Maybe it's better that way. I don't know.
".....if I was her, would I be attracted to me? I can see where my pleading her to stay or begging or making her feel guilty or showing how great our M was is not going to make me look attractive......"
That was where I finally "got it". I wanted so bad to help my W see how much I love her and that I care. It was when I took a hard look at me that I resented what I had become. I thrived on my own independence when my W and I met and here I was "needing" her.
I'm glad to see you are here so early on in the process of MLC. It took me a year to get here. I don't know what it will look like when my W gets to the end of the tunnel. She's in deep and if we could afford a D she'd have left last year. I do believe she resents me even more because she chooses to sleep in the living room and because my kids always ask where she is, she still has to tell me things she feels is none of my business.
