Not quite in midseason form...yet

[adinva]

That's a nice letter. I agree 100% with the comment above to end it at the "For all of the above, I ask for your forgiveness" part.

IMO talking about how you're not trying to manipulate and telling her how (not) to respond, is sort of manipulative, attempting to control how she perceives the letter, which is really up to her. But it's really nice that you're stating mistakes and apologizing. Again IMO, I think you should just apologize instead of asking for her forgiveness. Stick to what you control, which is you. (And btw, I think it goes without saying that you're motivated by a hope that your letter improves her opinion of you. It's pretty low key and focuses on you, and I personally don't see the harm in that. Sending it after the D seems pointless, to me.)

In my situation, I'm the W and my H wants to leave. Since we're in such flux, he did absolutely nothing for my birthday; I don't even think he knew it was my birthday. I didn't expect a party or a big gift because we are basically separated, but my feelings were hurt to be ignored. From where I sit, it would be nice if you would acknowledge her birthday and not totally ignore it. A token gift like a gift certificate would be pretty low key, or a card without a personal note, just a simple Happy Birthday...would seem thoughtful and not pursuing.

Take it as just one opinion. I'm new here and no expert.