Finally confronted H on affair...Now what????

[Queen_of_Swords]

Dear Keep_going,

I see something that put me on alert in your situation, because I recognize the behavior I still fight against in interactions with STBX.

This:

He came home after the game and I made him his favorite soup and really focused on him. Historically he is very accident-prone and sickly, and he LOVES to be taken care of... He was very thankful when he left.

and this:

I made him dinner and gave him some pain meds. to take home (he had none). Before he left he once again gave me a big hug and thanked me for everything I had done in the past couple of days.

I said "You don't have to thank me I am happy to help take care of you and you know I worry about your health.

Yes it's about empathy and care and loving...
but is HE interpreting it as such or as mothering or control?

If so this could be trouble. Things really deteriorate quickly when you are perceived as mother or an authority figure in your M.


Just a caution, you may have to back off a bit.