Thank you 25. I will look into that..The 180's I have done are contacting old friends, trying to be more active around the house. The W hasnt done dishes or laundry in months (not sure if that counts) been more active with the kids, taking them places school things etc... The GAL is more difficult for me (imagine that)I have brought back an old hobby and turned the garage into a man cave of sorts.
My problem now is the anniv. and her B-day is coming up very soon. I am giving a spa gift certificate for B-day, so she can pick from what she wants Facial, massage or what ever. I like the idea of blank card with something nice written in it for the anniv. but I dont know what to say!! I want to avoid making this about me it should be about us. Any ideas? Thanks !!
How do you show someone that you have and changed and can be trusted when they refuse to "look"? - You cant.
you change b/c you want to be a better man. You become a better man.
Whether someone else notices isn't relevant to the truth.
But she HAS noticed your efforts AND she HAS told you that!
(Stop getting amnesia for the good stuff and microscoping the negatives!)
She simply isn't ready to equate noticing the changes you made
with reconciling and fully forgiving yet.
But she moved towards the idea of going to mc!
Sheesh Chris, am I confusing you with someone else? Aren't these ^^ things true?
IF So- why are you pretending nothing good has happened?
My 2 x4 for you is this...and sorry, okay?
But you sound really self absorbed and "young", and negatively programmed and it's a turn off. You keep making this about her comforting YOU. And that is selfish.
You have NOT been here long by normal people's standards...seriously.
Can you work on that stuff NOW and we'll get to the other stuff soon.
But no matter what you do or say for the anniversary
have NO expectations REALLY---b/c I don't want to see your post about how you "just wanted to make her happy with a message/small gift"
and then you were "crushed" when she didn't reciprocate.
If you are GIVING her something then by definition
expect nothing in return....expecations of reciprocity make this a transaction or trade,
not a "GIFT"...make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
