Poor, sweet baby girl, and poor you. So much stress and change is hard on us adults, I can only imagine how difficult it is on our little ones. If any good at all came from last night, I hope that 1) your daughter felt better after getting some of her frustrations, sadness, fears, etc out. Internalizing isn't good for anyone, and she felt comfortable letting loose and letting the two of you see that. That is a good thing; and 2) that your wife saw how her actions and decisions are affecting your daughter. I know that is painful for her to see, but sometimes the WAS thinks everyone is doing fine and good and doesn't see the consequences of their poor choices.
Also, it's great that afterwards your daughter found comfort with you at the home she is familiar with and comfortable in. It sounds like the outburst was good for her and she was able to go to school this morning feeling less stressed. I know I always feel better after a good cry.
You have handled the situation PERFECTLY up to this point! Now it is important that you do NOT throw this back in your wife's face. She saw and heard what your daughter was expressing, so you don't need to point it out to her. In fact, I wouldn't bring it up at all. Just keep being positive and upbeat and supportive for your daughter. Let your wife feel the guilt from this on her own. If she does open up to you about it saying she feels bad or whatever, don't give her the ol' "I told you so" lines. Just listen to her.
I hope you have a good weekend in store and that you get to spend some more time with your sweet girl. I'll be in your neck of the woods tomorrow for some soccer and then some GAL time with my girl friends!
So much stress and change is hard on us adults, I can only imagine how difficult it is on our little ones. If any good at all came from last night, I hope that 1) your daughter felt better after getting some of her frustrations, sadness, fears, etc out. Internalizing isn't good for anyone, and she felt comfortable letting loose and letting the two of you see that. That is a good thing; and 2) that your wife saw how her actions and decisions are affecting your daughter. I know that is painful for her to see, but sometimes the WAS thinks everyone is doing fine and good and doesn't see the consequences of their poor choices. 