H and I are continue to get along and to move toward piecing (maybe we are piecing? We both know we want to reconcile and are working toward improving our communication with each other, ending our separation and dropping the divorce). He has been including me again on some important business he has going on, asking my opinion and sharing information with me. We spend a lot of our free time together (either as a family or alone, after the kids have gone to bed). We also have a family night at the movies tonight, which we are all really looking forward to.
It is SO hard to remain patient, but I realize that my patience is essential to not only saving our marriage but making it better. I think I let fear, anger, etc get the best of me at times, and I slip into my old habits. I know all that does is sabotage the work we have done. My goal is that we are living together again as a family by Christmas, which would mean roughly a 6 month separation. However, if it doesn't happen by then (for whatever reasons), I'll reevaluate the situation at that time. I realize that our plans will need some tweaking as we go along.
In the meantime, I'm continuing to work on my own personal goals as well as my relationship goals. I can tell my H sees some positive changes in me. I now realize that I'm going to come out of this separation a better person, not just for H and our marriage, but in general. I guess that is what DB'ing is all about!
For so long, I focused primarily on H's problems he brought to our marriage, but when I take a very honest look at the situation, I see how many of my behaviors have contributed to the breakdown of our marriage as well. Those are the things I'm working on changing about myself, and I know that I have 100% control to make those changes happen.
Thanks for the support I have received here. I do not think I would be this far along in improving personally and in my marriage without my friends on this board.
