Yep, been back to being the poophead this week. Her not saying goodbye or hello to me, but directly to the kids right in front of me. That's just flippin rude. I could care less if I didn't think it set a bad example on manners to the kids. That's what is really giving me pause to be upset.
More and more she seems to be in a hurry to leave the house before I get up for work in the morning. I like her not being there anyway. In my own GAL ways I've managed to get back in pretty good shape and I walk around the house without a shirt on until I've finished shaving. Admittedly, the thought that this might bother her amuses me. I haven't been in this good of physical shape in 10 years and a friend of hers told me last year that my W noticed. Granted, my W told me back in May I looked sickly and I would have agreed. This whole mess has given me a loss of appetite, but I've rectified that. I realized I did look sickly because I was desperate and wanting. Now I'm confident and happy and I know I look much better now than 4 months ago. The self image thing is for real because I feel "taller", I guess is the word I'm looking for.
She's out of town this weekend. Good. I love my W very much, but I don't much like being around her mass of negativity. I don't share her issues and until she starts to accept them, I could give less a dang about it. I've learned I can't help her because she doesn't want my help. I pray every night for her to find her strength and that's all I can/will do for now. She doesn't plan on leaving until after I get home from work which is too bad since I was hopeful I would be done seeing her after this morning.
That sounds a bit harsh, but since she sees me as her worst enemy and she can't afford to move out, I figure the less she sees of me, the better for both of us.
