Thanks again VC, your a great sound board to me.

So I went to my AA meeting, the things you hear people have been through really puts things into context.

Yes I am loosing my marriage, but some people have been living on the streets and lost everything before they saw sense, very humbling.

So I came out of my meeting and called "home", unlike the rest of the week when I have called, my wife answered the phone, it's been 1 of the kids recently when we didn't speak, I asked to speak to the kids and she immediatley put our son on, so he must have been close when it rang?

He was great telling me about school, etc, and what things he needed packed for tomorrow night, I have them, I could hear my wife telling him to ask what he needed in the background, then my Daughter came on the phone, again all good, telling me she missed me and loved me, etc, she then said mum wanted to speak to me ??

So my wife comes on and starts asking about what things I needed for them for tonight?, I had already told my son exactly when she was prompting, I just repeated everything again, no problem, I mentioned I was taking my D shopping on Saturday morning as I had to pick my watch up from repair, she laughed and mentioned the bill, I just said I know but I want my watch back, she just agreed.

The watch is a Breitling my wife bought me for my birthday a few years ago, it cost a lot of money, but she knew I always wanted 1, and she knows how much it means to me.

Its cost a fair amount for a full service and new battery, but I love that watch, and I know how happy I was when I got it, and how happy my wife was when she gave me it.
How the hell did we end up here!!!!

So we ended the call all polite and calm.
I'm really pleased the communication lines are open between us again.

I am in a good place at the moment, I have accepted the OM is there, but I will be the better man, I understand my kids don't live with their father, but the time i'm with them will be the best time.

And I accept that for now my marriage is on hold, but I know by remaining calm, no anger, maintain my changes, my wife will be back with me sometime, in this marriage or not.

I know I have to remain detached, not get too close or too friendly like I did in the past month or so, I have to be friends with her, regain her trust, regain our friendship, and with time i will regain our love.

Thanks everyone for helping me get here.