My intention is to tell her the truth. It is not healthy or good for her, me or the kids to sell our house, move into a smaller apartment so she can quit her job while she is actively dating. She's made it clear she is not coming back so I have to let her go.
It says in DR's chapter on infidelity that it's OK to tell W about how the affair has made you feel. You think this will drown out the message? Maybe I should not say anything about that?
I have changed a ton. In the past I would have been far too scared to confront her and tell her how I feel. I would have gone right ahead and sold the house and then dropped a bomb on her that I wasn't going to support her after the fact (I was a chicken$hit). Now I truly see that the only chance of saving this marriage is to split up. The only way I am going to return to the confident, funny and thoughtful man that I was is to heal and I can't do it while she is going on dates.
