Finally confronted H on affair...Now what????

[keep_going]

Journaling again...

Met with Real Estate Agent on Tuesday - H and I have agreed to do a short sale on our townhome, which will affect our credit for a few years. If we can keep the house where I am with the kids, then it will be ok. Will know more after I talk to L next Tuesday.

H then told me he had to go to Tijuana on Wed. (LOTS of problems at work... he had to go visit a contractor in Tijuana who is causing a lot of delays...) He is really concerned and I have really focused on listening and showing empathy and support (as a friend). I read in someone's posting to think of him as a friend and not my S and that has helped.

So yesterday I sent him a text just saying to stay safe in Mexico. He replied with happy face saying "thanks for saying that"

When he returned, he left a message asking if I'd take the kids to his softball game that evening. (He has played since we met and I ALWAYS go to cheer him on. He has invited me to every game since he left and I have gone to many of them. He is always grateful when I do.

The weird part is that nobody at work even knows that we are separated, much less about OW (she also happens to be a client, so that would look terrible). And we have been getting along so well (except for when we have argued), that nobody even suspects a thing...

Yesterday everyone complimented me on how great I look just 8 weeks after labor. I've gotten a lot of that and H has heard some of it.

H bruised his ribs going for a flyball. One of his co-workers said "he'll definitely need you to take care of him tonight with some ice back and pain killers." I just smiled and said nothing. H didn't hear. I am doing wrong in helping him maintain this "cover" at work?

He came home after the game and I made him his favorite soup and really focused on him. Historically he is very accident-prone and sickly, and he LOVES to be taken care of... He was very thankful when he left.

Today he called and said he had gone to the hospital, since he could barely breathe and he was waiting to see a dr. and commented how busy the hospital was. I asked if he wanted some company and he said that would be nice. So I drove down and kept him company for about 2 hrs. while we waited for X-rays and the dr. We had a good time (all friendly and laughing some, until OW stared texting him. He became very serious (he looked guilty to me). But I kept my composure 100%. Didn't change my attitude (even though I was DYING inside). When I left, he gave me a big hug and thanked me very much for taking care of him the previous night and coming down to see him.

(One of the advantages I have over OW, is that since she lives out of town, she doesn't get to participate in the day to day life with him, whereas I see him almost every day...And he is a very needy person, by his own admission, he need A LOT of affection and attention, so I know he is thankful when I am there for him as a friend).

I left to pick-up kids from pre-school. He came over after the hospital, before I was back. He texted asking if it was ok to lay down in "my bed."
I replied yes. When I got home he was out (with the phone in his hand, as usual). I let him sleep until the kids' bedtime. I made the girls go in to say good night. He was super happy that we woke him up and said that was the best part of his day.

I made him dinner and gave him some pain meds. to take home (he had none). Before he left he once again gave me a big hug and thanked me for everything I had done in the past couple of days.

I said "You don't have to thank me I am happy to help take care of you and you know I worry about your health.
(FYI, in the past he had complained that I was not very empathetic when he would get sick.)

So overall, a good couple of days with H, despite the constant presence of OW (H will NOT let his phone out of his grasp even for a moment, so I get to witness all the texting, plus his attention is always focused on the stupid phone, waiting for her...)

And I have also been working on keeping my spirits up when he is not around. Continue stopping negative or sad thoughts and focusing on GAL.

We will see what happens next.