I'm not sure where your claim that your wife "has become the type of woman who is happy with no sex" comes from. From your description, she once listened to her libido and experimented with sex, only to withdraw once she found herself unable to have an O or receive much pleasure from the experience. After that, she seemed to want to persuade herself that her libido did not exist.
Your description of her going into hysterics rather than communicate about sex with you does NOT sound like someone who is "happy" with her circumstances; on the contrary, it sounds like someone who is desperately in denial of a part of herself.
If a young woman had a terrible fall, and subsequently refused to walk again, would you say that she'd become the type of woman who was happy not walking, or being in a wheelchair or carried around--or would you say she was a woman who had never recovered from a traumatic fall?
